Layla turns 9 on Sept 5th

Layla loves all things outdoors. When she gets up in the morning the first thing she does is run outside to visit her horse and calf. At the library she chooses science and horse books. She loves to learn. She loves going to work with her dad and feeding all the farm animals. She has the hugest heart too, always looking out for her family and friends.

Layla's last surgery

Here is some pics of Layla's last surgery. She had to have her gum line fixed as she still had a hole in it and could still dribble juice out her nose (which at times she thought was cool :)). In order to fix this they had to take a piece of her bone out of her hip and graft it into her mouth. The pics make it look like she was really sore, but she never once complained of pain in her face, however she had excruciating pain in her hip and she wouldn' t walk. The surgery was suppose to be a one night stay and it turned to 3. I was so worried because she wouldn't move, talk, or smile at us after the first couple of hours out of PACU. I felt like she was mad at us for putting her through that. When people taking care of you find out your in health care, you get somewhat abandoned. I think it's because they think you really know what's going on. I really had no clue. Every surgical procedure is different and I really didn't know what was to be expected. The nurses just let her lay in bed and I kept asking them to try and coax her out but they kept telling me it would be up to her when she did it. ....what? really? After a couple of days of that I told Greg we were going to have to give her some tough love and make her get out of the bed, even though there would be tears. We explained to her that if she didn't move then we were never going to get to go home and she was going to get a really bad sickness in her chest. She had already been really rattling when she was breathing, so I was worried.  She really wanted to ride in the wheelchair so we told her she could but that she would have to take the 4 steps to get to it. She never, not even once talked to us in 3 days. She would just stare at us with those big brown eyes. It was heart wrenching. She did end up getting up in the wheelchair and realizing it wasn't quite as fun as she had expected so she didn't stay up for long, but at least it was something. The last day we were there the tech came in and told Layla she needed to walk 4 times then she would get to go home. She made 4 boxes on the wipe off board for her to check each time she did it. Layla liked this idea. She decided each time she walked she would draw a picture instead. It was a great idea, that worked. We got to go home later that day. We set up a mattress in our front room and she got to be in the center of everything. She did so much better after we got home. It is amazing to look at these pics and see all the swelling and how fast it went away. It's also amazing about how much that little hole made a difference. Through orthodontics her face has taken on a whole different shape. It's quite subtle if you haven't really looked, but with her side by side photos, I just can't believe how much each step has changed. It's weird to me because I never see how anything is changing until I really look at the pics. She has always been our beautiful girl.

Layla

Here is from her recovery to 6yrs...

My beautiful Layla...

Isn't it funny how you can sometimes look at your life and think you have lived in a different time, a different place, or as just a whole completely different person. It's so hard sometimes to imagine where you were, where you've been, how far you have come and what is more to come. Sometimes it's almost as though your completely disconnected from that person you once were. 

There are monumental times in every person's life when in an instant...things change. Suddenly you have a different perspective, to the very core of your existence you are rocked, humbled, brought to your knees.

her poor lil face was swollen :(

My beautiful Layla Alea was born on Sept 5,2001. We had no idea that she would be born with a cleft lip and palate. I was not a nurse then and I had no idea how to even synthesize that information. All I knew is she was ours, and I loved her....everything else we would figure out along the way.

Someday I hope to fully tell her birth story but I'm still not there yet. I mean mostly because I can't really put my finger on the right words to tell the story so that you would truly understand. Someday.

one of my only pics I have of layla in the hospital...look at those little toes

Thank God we have such a wonderful family to help us out during those early days. My dad had helped us get in touch with the cleft palate association, he had researched surgeons and hospitals. Greg's aunt Chris was also so very helpful to us...what a wonderful woman she is. 

I have probably about a billion pics of Layla so I will try and contain myself with all my photos ....:)

This was one of our first real outings. We went to the mall to JcPenny's. I remember having so much anxiety about it...the stares...the questions.... I was never, ever ashamed...I just wanted to protect her from our mean cruel world. Look how cute she is, man I loved that face.

I remember crying taking these Halloween pics. I cried all the time that first year, everything was always changing. This was Layla's first smile...I caught it on camera, she was smiling for her mamma and it melted my heart.

Layla's first surgery was scheduled for October 30,2001, just a month and a half old. It was a hard time for us. I really hated the fact that she would have to have surgery. I just loved that little face and I didn't want it changed. 

My parent's had graciously bought a case of cleft palate bears to be donated to all the kids having cleft surgery that day. We took Layla's picture with them. She was a bit grouchy that morning as she had to be fasting so she wasn't able to be nursed. 

 It felt like forever that Layla was in surgery..They don't let you go back to the operating room obviously, so you have to hand your baby over to the nurse and anesthetist...not easy to hand over your baby...makes my belly hurt just thinking about that day.

Layla was in surgery/PACU for 2 1/2hrs before  we got to see her again.

She was pretty doped up from the meds. Her little face was really swollen. She didn't really open her eyes for quite along time. She had a metal guard taped across her face which protected her stitches. She had some plastic stints placed inside her nose with a stitch through the cartlidge to hold it in place. Worst of all she had restraints on which she had to have until she got her stints out.

Even though she had required some extra oxygen and morphine throughout the night, they let her go home just after 24hrs. She was discharged on Halloween day. I cried the whole way back from salt lake. I was scared that she was in pain, I was also very sad from seeing all the little kids suffering from terminal illnesses, celebrating Halloween in a hospital, I felt guilty for feeling sad for my baby, when I knew there were mothers in that hospital that would be holding their baby in their arms for the very last time.

Our newest member of the family

....Midnight....

Greg's dad got a call from the stockyards saying that they had a baby calf that they really didn't want to have to deal with, so I guess they just call dairy farmers because they know they have some extra milk?!?! Anyway greg thought it would be fun for Layla to take care of. Layla has been bottle feeding it and takes it for walks every day. I must say she is pretty darn cute! My mom & Granny got to come out one day and help feed her. They got a kick outta that :) although when they tried to leave midnight wanted more milk so she was chasing them. Blacks are not quite as stupid as the Holsteins that we are used to be around!

Where oh where has the summer gone??? So sad for it to be almost over although I guess the snow will cover up all the yardwork yet to be done....someday...someday...maybe I will be able to be as good as my mother was at keeping up the house, yard and everything in between. Somedays I wish I didn't work outside the home, so I could take care of all the work at the house, and frankly other days I'm thankful to run away from my laundry and housework :)

Greg has been busy building a new pig pen and hopefully (fingers crossed) a chicken coop. I will post some pics when it is up. Those pigs are not so cute anymore, they continue to have some serious squeal power to them and I am just a bit (alot) afraid of them. I am really trying hard to be a country girl but man oh man these animals are a bit freaky at times! Let me just tell you, the kids were with Greg feeding one day so I decided to venture out and get some pics of the animals. This was actually on Mother's day this year....the day I got attacked by our mean rooster :( The thing had never ran after me before, so I guess I was testing my limits and got a bit too close for the liking so it turned and charged at me, I went to kick it and instead fell flat on my side (which caused an audible crack- thought I broke something for a minute!) As I fell to the ground all I could think was that my mom had asked me if it had spurs. Well, I hadn't known what that was at the time but I was thinking I was about ready to find out! Just as I fell my trusty dog jumped up from behind to scare the rooster off...saved my life I think...hahahah Too bad roosters are pretty, that's the only thing that's saving it from my next pot of soup.

For all of you who know nothing about chickens...this is what they do prior to attacking you! (yea the pics make it look like a no brainer...my camera shoots really fast though hhahaha)

Let's just say I won't be doing any National Geographic photo sessions anytime soon! (the large knot on my hip continues to heal) Prior to my getting attacked I had photographed the horses as well....

let's just say our animals were having a bad day, I have no idea what their problem was!

Poco- Layla's pony..

Yelling at Blaze...naughty pony! poor blaze

Blaze- Joels

gentle giant

Greg & Joel took Poco and had him gelded so we could start training him soon. While he was down they decided to give him a haircut...unfortunaly he let Joel cut his mane, let's just say he should stay out of beauty school cuz this is how it turned out.....which one of the 3 stooges is that?!?

No peeking Shelly!

This blogging is kinda fun...except it may take over my life! hahah I just finished Shelly's baby, Addison's blanky, so I thought I would share! I really am not that great at sewing, but I stick with it because it is teaching me a little bit of patience, and usually I love the final product (I'm slowly getting better) I haven't took pics of anything in the past, but thought maybe I should start so I can remember some of these crazy projects...

Shelly likes retro colors, so I thought this was appropriately bright ♥ I think it's cuter in real life though with the minkee and flannel fabrics :)